And you wonder why they gave the kids to K-Fed.
Leave it to Britney Spears to turn a humiliating indictment of her mothering skills to her advantage. On Sunday, TMZ.com captured the sense-impaired screw-up as she exited her car and left Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, who were strapped in their car seats and in the line of paparazzi fire, under the watchful eye of the court-appointed monitor.
So, what pressing business prompted Calamity Brit to treat the woman whose opinion weighs heavily in her custody battle with Kevin Federline as her personal babysitter?
Was she checking to see when "Bee Movie" was playing? Or stopping to get directions to the nearest petting zoo? Or running into a bookstore to buy the entire Dr. Seuss collection with some of the $700,000-plus she rakes in every month?
Turns out the mangled-maned chart-topper (despite everything, "Blackout" is a hit) was shopping for a chandelier, a luxury lighting emergency that cut into the three supervised visits per week she's allowed with her sons.
Spears' personal paparazzi contingent snapped her gazing at the bright and shiny wares at a store called the Crystal Palace, while back in the car the monitor appeared to do her best to keep Sean Preston entertained.
She even managed to win a rare smile -- distressingly dentally challenged though it looked -- from the little guy, using a little-known technique that involves actual adult-to-child interaction.
Alas, this wasn't the only instance Britney's complete lack of judgment was on display over the weekend. She hit a tanning salon on Saturday, a bronzing appointment so important she couldn't be bothered to find legal parking.
Apparently unaware that cluelessness is not a recognized disability, she pulled her white Mercedes convertible into a clearly marked handicapped spot (as captured by shutterbugs) and traipsed off to age her skin prematurely.
At this point, Britney would be wise to take advantage of the sympathy pangs being felt by one of Hollywood's biggest stars.
Julia Roberts is offering the cautionary tale a safe haven, although she might want to think twice about any playdates involving twins Hazel and Phinnaeus and newest arrival Henry.
"I see and hear what's happening to Britney Spears," the Oscar winner tells the December issue of Vanity Fair, "and it's all I can do not to move her into my guesthouse and say, 'OK, this is how it's going to be!' And just take care of her."